The first date is always an exciting and romantic event. It allows people to get to know each other better, to understand whether there are common interests, goals, and whether to continue further communication. By the impression of the first date, one can judge whether there should be second, the third date, and what kind of relations will develop between people in the future. Usually, we carefully prepare for the first date, think over what to wear, where to go, how to behave, what topics to talk about. Best Single libra women from Ukraine for dating. However, excessive excitement, high expectations, untrue reality, idealization of a partner, a strong desire to show oneself to the best side, to hide all their shortcomings, can lead to the fact that the first date will go wrong, or just be spoiled. Therefore, if you invited a person on a long-awaited date, try to adhere to the rules of behavior that are listed below.
Here are the things you should not discuss on the first date
Do not brag.
Do not brag about your wealth, your cars, social status, physical strength, intellect, various achievements, etc. Self-praise arises as a result of an excessive desire to prove oneself in the best way, combined with excessive self-esteem. There is nothing wrong with the stories about your strengths and achievements, but it’s important not to overdo it, let the person learn about all of this gradually during communication.
Limit physical contact.
That is touching, hugs, kisses, etc. Some people want to touch their object of sympathy, feel it, so they demonstrate their interest in another person, but this should not be done on the first date. It should be noted that each person has a so-called personal space (the minimum permissible distance you should be from another person). This space ranges from 35 to 50 cm. If you enter this zone and the other person moves away, then they are either not ready for such close communication, or they do not like you. If on the contrary, they do not shy away, then, most likely, they like you.
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Do not try to be someone else.
For example, you say you love sports, although the last time you practiced them was at school. Or, to the person’s question, do you like animals, nod your head in the affirmative, although, in fact, you are allergic to cats. It is because of a great desire to like that men sometimes answer questions not in the way they actually think, but in the way the situation requires from them (they demonstrate socially desired behavior). If on the first date this can work, and you create a beautiful picture for your companion, then with the further development of the relationship, a lie will open, and this will lead to misunderstandings and conflicts.
Do not mention ex-partners (for the sake of comparison, talking about them in a negative light, etc.).
Such behavior may indicate that the person has not fully survived and did not let go of the previous relationship, is still mentally in them.
Do not immediately talk about strong feelings (love at first sight).
This may indicate a frivolity of intent. Indeed, in such a short time, only mutual sympathy or love can arise. For the emergence of strong feelings you will need a longer time.
Do not behave badly
No inappropriate jokes, interruption of the interlocutor, aggression, bad language, negative attitude to the world.
Do not be too constrained, silent, indecisive.
Here excitement makes itself felt, fears of doing something wrong won’t lead to anything good. Therefore, it is better to think ahead about topics for conversation, a convenient and familiar place for a date for both of you.
You should not talk exclusively about yourself.
This is because the other person will have the impression that you are a narcissist. In this case, you do not need to turn a date into an interview, to barrage a person with a lot of questions. It is better to alternate questions and answers, add neutral topics to the conversation (movies, music, weather, etc.).
Do not openly look at people of the opposite gender and flirt with them.
So you risk getting a bad reputation in the eyes of a person you are on a date with. Moreover, any person will feel unpleasant when the other person pays attention to someone else but them on a first date.
For those who are unable to cope with their fears and excitement, the first date may be the last. Therefore, sometimes even a not very successful date deserves a second chance and the opportunity to better look at your companion.
What to talk about on a first date
Awkward silence, uncomfortable questions, a bloody conflict motivated by political views or, even worse, just boredom – the first date can turn into a real catastrophe if two people have long forgotten how to properly communicate with unfamiliar interlocutors. Unfortunately or fortunately, the first meeting is not always the best in life, but we, for our part, can take on a few life hacks to bring our first date a little closer to the standard of Hollywood romantic melodramas.
Google your partner
Look for conversation topics on their Facebook or Instagram pages. Even when you are already sitting at the same table in a cafe, you still have time to look for their profile while they go out to wash their hands. Anything that they mention could be a topic that will melt awkward silence. Ask a question – and let them speak. Those who listen well and empathize with their interlocutor, while simultaneously asking additional questions, are, for some reason considered, to be very interesting interlocutors.
Talk about yourself
A well-known pick-up technique – to win over a person, you must first open up. Tell about yourself something personal, specific and very, very short. Be somewhat self-critical. Admit that you are always late, and therefore in childhood, your mother hung an alarm clock on your neck. If you plan to continue your relationships and date in the future – honesty will go a long way.
Talk about them
Harvard scientists conducted a study that showed that people most of all like to talk about themselves. At this point, we have signs of activity in areas of the brain associated with motivation and analysis. This partly explains the huge exhibitionist posts on Facebook. The more actively we dump our plans, hopes, and phobias on someone, the more we feel sympathy for the interlocutor (and we believe that they reciprocate with us). Get ready to listen to their monologue. If you were able to listen to it attentively and get at least a few things out of it – well done.
Ask the right questions.
Modern people are quite emotional and talkative. But let’s say you’ve got yourself a silent partner. For such a person to talk, you need to ask leading questions. Moreover, those that cannot be answered in monosyllables (“yes”, “no”) and trisyllabic ways (“normal”). Otherwise, you will have to constantly ask questions, and the conversation will turn into an interrogation. Wrong: “Do you like …?” Right: “Why do you like …?” Wrong: “Aren’t you bored with me?” Right: “Why do you feel bored with me?” Although this question is rather rhetorical.
Scientists from the laboratory of the University of Sheffield found that the human brain processes the voice of a person we like in the same area of the brain as the music. Thus, become their musician. And make them feel like you feel the same. Show that you enjoy every word. And do not interrupt their story with long remarks, even if you want to talk more than listen. Although true, don’t let them know it just yet.
Appreciate their humor
A sense of humor is a very important communication bridge that people consider to be their sovereign territory. And not by chance. British scientists have found that humor is directly proportional to the amount of testosterone in the blood. That is sexuality. The funnier the person by your side is, the better are your prospects for the future. Men should be funny and witty. Women should laugh, this might sound sexist but this is the way our brains are wired.
Take care of them
On a first date, this is difficult to do. It could be the case if a person comes to a date with a fever or they get robbed on the way. Although it may happen that, while getting up from a chair, they will slip and fall. In general, if fate gives you a chance to take care of them, do not hesitate to act like a nurse.
Go to people
Do not believe in Hollywood movies. A one-on-one date at a restaurant is incredibly difficult to perform. Moreover, a formal date is terribly unfashionable. People, in real life, just visit places that they both find to be interesting. Do not be embarrassed to call them to crowded events, where talking, in general, is not necessary. When you have something to say to each other, you will find a place that is quiet and conducive to further communication.